Blessing In a Storm

 

    Last night we had a storm, and I mean a STORM. We could see it coming-great dark clouds rolling across the dining room window with increasing thunder making a molto crescendo.  Then the lightning, such as I've never experienced before. Jagged rods of light dancing across an unsettled sky and accompanied by incessant, timpani-like booms.  Sideways rain pelted the windows and the thirsty earth slurped greedily.

    Dear Prudy huddled in my lap, shaking and panting, and independent Moxie was even glad to come in the house. The lights flickered once, twice, and then they were gone. 8:30 pm and complete darkness.  I was annoyed-me, in my safe, sturdy house was unable to go ahead with the evening's plans of reading and knitting. That annoyance should have turned to prayers for those not so lucky, don't you think?

    So, an early to bed. Prudy and I chose the downstairs guest room-cooler, I thought, while Bill braved the upstairs. Within a few minutes the house became stuffy and hot and I was sweating while simply lying on top of the covers. And here comes the blessing...I opened two windows, put my pillow on the floor underneath them, and felt a breeze. AND I was able to hear the tree frogs, owls and crickets, normally shut out by closed windows, air conditioning and fans. I basked in their happy, contented sounds and perhaps even learned a lesson from them.

    My story is a drop in the bucket compared to the numerous climate tragedies the world is experiencing this summer.  Are you scared? I am. Worry gnaws at me and my baby efforts seem to amount to nothing.

I fear for my grandchildren and all those of future generations. How about you?

Thin Place

 

Perhaps you are familiar with the idea of thin places, where one feels as if they have one foot on the earth and one foot in heaven.  It can happen in so many life situations and I myself have felt that way many times. From being held by a loved one to walking the cliffs of Inis Mor Island, it is a powerful, other worldly experience. And now, as I await the birth of a new grandchild, I am in a thin place once again.

Early on the morning of February 17 our granddaughter is scheduled to be born in Colorado.  This knowing that a new being will enter the world 2 days from now is a thin place for me.  The earthly part is substantial-surgery, with all the preparation, risk and recovery it involves.  And the heavenly? That's more difficult to wrap my mind around, but my heart knows it is true.  A new little person, one of God's beloved, is on her way.

How well I remember the first time I saw Zev and Ari.  For Zev, I walked up the outside stairs, schlepping my luggage, and standing in the door was my beautiful daughter holding her newborn boy. A piece of heaven, my heart overflowing.  And Ari?  Bill and I held him the day he was born. What else can I say? New life, firsthand.

This time we are 1600 miles away and due to Covidtide I will not be able to go and be with them.  I grieve, I pray, I look forward to holding her, and I wait, in this thin place.

Summer's End

 The summer of 2020 was exceptional and I feel a great need to document it with words and photos. In some ways it seemed to endlessly stretch from one impossibly hot and humid day to another, while concurrently it was over in a second. With the advent of an early fall my head and heart have been restored a bit and I can see more clearly.

The first few months of the pandemic allowed us time to expand our vegetable garden, which ended up being a huge disappointment.  We have not managed the transition to gardening in Maryland particularly well!  Have you ever heard of a gardener bemoaning the lack of zucchini? Well, that's us. The basil, on the other hand, was spectacular, and I'd guess that we supplied at least a dozen folks with enough for a good batch of pesto.  Bill's signature crop, garlic, did well-enough.

This was the second year of my higgeldy-piggeldy garden and it came into it's own. Do you know what a higgeldy-piggelgy garden is? The definition of that term is in a confused, disordered, or random manner, and that's exactly what my garden is. Anchored by a few perennials, the garden is home to whatever is on sale at the nursery or has been given to me by friends.  I love it!  St. Francis is hiding in there somewhere-next year he needs moving.

For a few blissful days we were restored by the peace of a cottage in Central Maine.  It was a different sort of Maine trip, due to the pandemic, but I cherish every moment we were there.

The summer was notable in that we finally ate crabs, after 5 years on the Eastern Shore. Courtesy of dear son-in-law Jeff, we sat on the porch and made a huge mess.  Wow, crabs are a lot of work!  I really don't mind eating mine in a crab cake, tho.

And then...it was the summer of our family's relocation to Colorado Springs.  Zev spent a few days every week at Nana Camp and Ari made frequent visits as well.  It was intense, exhausting, and life-giving. There was time to introduce Ari to the books of Robert McCloskey and weekly trips to a farm market for lovely produce and yummy ice cream (especially the peach!). Zev and I greatly expanded our baking repertoire from blueberry muffins to include oatmeal cookies, homemade bread, blueberry crisp and banana muffins. Did we ever make a mess...but oh so much fun.

Bill and I made a similar cross-country leap when we moved from Dallas to Maine in 1993. Begrudgingly I have to say I understand the reasons for the move to Colorado. Of course it is different here without them 55 miles down the road and I miss them terribly. But I am happy for Emily and Jeff and proud of them for trying to do what's best for their family.

How could I not say something about the state of our country and the upcoming election? I am worried, yes, and the above says it all.

Every day I make it a point to remind myself that we are all God's beloved. May we treat each other as such and work for healing and peace.

New Life

I suspect that many of us are feeling an undercurrent of fear and foreboding these days.  No matter your political persuasion, there is a lot to worry about.  For me it's a constant battle to be positive and hopeful.  My non-negotiable morning meditations have been a lifesaver in that regard.

And Bill and I are so fortunate to have both new and young life in our family.  I'd forgotten just how small and helpless a baby is as well as how insistent they can be when something is needed!

I love this photo of my son-in-law: his face is full of joy, contentment and pride.  Often I am deeply moved by the love he and Emily show each other and their 2 young sons.

Eight days after Ari's birth a bris was held.  This ancient ritual linked Ari to his ancestors from centuries past.  Beautiful prayers were said, including my favorite which asked that the world be a better place because of Ari. Isn't that something we should all wish for ourselves?  Many treasured keepsakes were part of the bris, including crystal candlesticks that belonged to my grandmother.

Here's Zev watching the mohel as she prepares to perform the circumcision.  He seemed a little uneasy that afternoon, but a trip to get an ice cream with Nana seemed to help.

When the weight of war, ugly words, poverty, pollution and politics weigh me down I think of my responsibility to future generations.  And I do what I can, as I soak up every bit of love and hope from these two little boys.

A Look Back

As I think back on 2017 I am almost overwhelmed with the meaning of friendship and family.  Looking thru our holiday cards yesterday I was struck by the many relationships we have, ranging from childhood friends to new Maryland friends to many in-between. I am grateful for them all.

In a year when I often felt utter dismay at the state of our country and world, love sustained me. The love I received and witnessed from family, friends, strangers, pets, nature, the Spirit. And music.  I hope that I am able to pass that on, to show that life indeed is worth living.

It was a year of great travel adventures, meaningful music-making and taking the first steps to become a spiritual director. The year brought sobering news about Bill's health and the realization of what aging entails.

Throughout the ups and downs I have been blessed to be a part of new life, in dear little Zev.  To see our world anew, with no preconceptions, is a gift and a lesson.

My wish for the new year is that we be kind to each other.  Even when it means reaching across the aisle, the divide-let's treat each other as human beings, with love and kindness.

Blessings on your new year.

A New Life

What makes the pull of family so strong for some of us? Ten months ago, in September 2015, we uprooted ourselves from a beautiful life in Maine to move to the Eastern Shore of Maryland.  And all because of this darling little boy, along with his parents.

When Emily, our daughter, was growing up, we lived in Maine and her grandparents were in Texas.  A visit with them was a BIG DEAL-lots of planning, a long plane flight and the need to stay for a certain period of time to make the trip worthwhile.  Expectations on both sides were huge and the flurry of cooking and cleaning exhausting.  We made it work-had to- and Emily was close to her grandparents.  We all had some wonderful times together and I cherish those memories.

But that's not what I wanted, as a grandmother. I wanted to be day-trip close enough. Forget the missed birthday parties and the need for plane reservations months in advance. Drop the expectations of occasional visits.  I wanted to be a part of Zev's life on a regular basis and now it's a fact.

We are close enough that just about every week Zev gets home baked blueberry muffins.  He expects them (an expectation I can handle!) and that simple thing makes me pinch myself, to see if I will wake up from this good dream. "Nana's house" is a place he loves and he doesn't just visit once or twice a year. We have our favorite books and songs and he always gets a 'cello lesson from Bill.

Yes, this post is an ode to my grandson, but not at the expense of daughter and son-in-law.  Being a part of their lives, too, is a great gift.

It has been hard to get this blog started and please don't worry, it won't be just about grandparenting. I just thought I'd say why we have started life anew.  If you'd like to know more, check out Lost in Maine.